AI Agents Can Now Optimize Your Slow Java Code: A Spring Boot Workflow That Used to Need a Specialist

Last week a tweet went viral claiming that people complaining about LLM-generated bloat would "eat crow" once everything gets rewritten in hand-optimized assembly. Dan Luu, the engineer behind some of the most cited performance writing on the internet, responded with an essay titled "There's no reason for software to be slow anymore." It hit 620 points on Hacker News in about a day, and its argument should change how every Java team spends its next sprint. The core claim is simple and backed by